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08 September 2018

one night stand

while chewing on razor blades I wondered
how to spend the evening
I was having hot flashes and seeing red
The moon confirmed I was in heat
I wanted to tear up some ass
make someone scream
the October winds were howling but I didn't care
in sweat pants and hoodie I went where few dared
A local place where us men like to flaunt what it is we have
and
what it is we want
In the moon's light I saw him
a bit young for my taste
clock was ticking didn't have time to waste
We danced the dance
a mating ritual
when he exposed his ass and I went in for the kill
not but spit lubricated his hole
I plunged in deep before he could say no
passion
desire
who the fuck cared
he tightened up on me and I shot it right there
I Pumped my heat into him
while breaking his neck
the convulsions were epic it drained my dick
that is one night Id like to relive
and one night I'll never forget


04 July 2018

who am I ?!


I'm angry


fucken pissed off

would rather hear the chocking of a slit throat then how wonderful life is

I carry with me all my belongings

at night I wonder before sleep if the temperature drops
will death take me?

shit no, I'd wake the next day with frost bite, that's what I'd do

When the cloths I wear become skanky I can't stand the smell
I take a dip in the nearest lake or pool

My teeth are but stubs of a smile I used to carry

I feed my dogs leftovers from  restaurant trash heaps

this is what I always imaged retirement to be

the golden years

I thought I had it rough growing up

it toughened me for this hell I'm living

so when they ask me for my name

I scream it out loud

I'm Angry



Copyright © 2018 Patrick B Vince

I'll use that

alcohol


wine by the bottle



a cigarette



some magic tobacco



the monkey on my back



the dragons tail I chased



an ass to pass around



naked bodies 



a kiss



a slap



some pain



some blood to go with that



a little bit at a time 



never in moderation



it took the person I used to be



split into fractures, my personality 



who am I



what drug was ingested



air I can't breath



clean?



what's clean



I'm poison


addiction


Copyright © 2018 Patrick B Vince

burnt out, done

he said he loved me as he searched on his phone for a trick to play with

me sitting on the side wanting him

The anger swelled as I waited for the affection he gave strangers


He asked me to change I asked for some attention


while I gave in 
he fucked around behind my back

I couldn't take having  my heart ripped out on a daily basis

then returned stepped on, tarnished


My happiness didn't matter


got tired of fighting a fight I wouldn't win


I grew some balls, hardened my heart 

and before I left I tore him apart

Copyright © 2018 Patrick B Vince

02 March 2018

reaching the end

hitting my breaking point
 
ready to quit

 
you're no friend if you treat me like this

 
I'm not a threat 

 
I'm not a sneak


I'm the one you fuck with when tired and week 

 
I gave my all over 

 
one hundred percent


in return I'm treated like shit 

 
I fight with my body 

 
I fight with my health 

 
We shouldn't be fighting that much I know 

 
hitting my breaking point


ready to quit


you're no friend if you treat me like this


Copyright © 2017 Patrick B Vince

04 April 2017

Sums it Up

Walk in my shoes
start the day waking to your muscles contracting
you feel a tug within your skin pulling at the nerve fibers
you try to relax at the same time reminding yourself to breath
your breath is labored
a mouth breather
how quickly you become dehydrated
fighting the pain that erupts from each joint you get up
choking down behind clenched teeth a scream
agonizingly you make your way to the bathroom

I'll skip over natures necessities
leaving you knowing that you finish covered in a cold sweat

you struggle methodically to remove you night wear
turn the shower on
you cringe as your skin becomes hypersensitive
you suddenly become hydrophobic
somehow you get in
clenching your teeth so tight you can hear them fracture
pins and needles covered in bee stings accosts you relentlessly
fighting fire with fire you embrace your flesh
willing it to calm
finishing the grueling task of staying clean you try to dress
again your body decides to oppose you
perspiration is your enemy
your wetter then you were in the shower
letting lose you scream
obscenities erupt without censorship

acceptance
you realize you can't fight it
you work within the pain and inabilities
taking mental inventory of all abnormalities

after several hours of stretching
relaxing and contracting limbs
reminding yourself to breath
your body releases the rigor mortis state it was in

your now in a time constraint
history has proven that come five o'clock
or should you sit and rest
your body once again goes into rigor mortis

day after day
it wears you down
you find out how true it is
a far away place in your head
start loosing time
in the hear and now you have drool running down your chin
realizing you don't care
a state of bliss

a fake reality

Copyright © 2017 Patrick B Vince

shit I'm fortynine

I had a birthday

feeling old not older

don't feel desirable

I see fat and disgusting in the mirror

I move slower with pain etched on my face

I'm depressed and sexually frustrated

I'm everything I don't want to be

and I lack the ability to change

I seek validation

want to be wanted

needed

seen

right now though

I don't want to be

Copyright © 2017 Patrick B Vince

01 March 2017

A fairy tale


There's a falling star that grants wishes

a rainbow in black and white

Prince Charmin with the wake up kisses

and my heart hidden, locked up tight


I went searching for the falling star

saw it crash into the rainbow

though drained of color I saw the scar

I cried as I stood in it's shadow


Ran down and exhausted I fell asleep

woke up in the land of make believe

where I found true love in a garbage heap

I felt a change as I turned to leave


With ice for blood I feel no pain

and love's a word I've come to hate

Prince Charmin's kiss would be in vain

my heart lays waist at Heaven's gate


Copyright © 2017 Patrick B Vince

12 January 2017

Accept, Believe, Become

Only I can hear the voices in my head
spoken from the graves of those already dead
I became their puppet they my puppeteer
the voices in my head only I can hear

avenging their deaths I do their dirty deeds
finding the guilty the demon in me feeds
relish the moments they take their final breaths
I do their dirty deeds avenging their deaths

Blood on my hands funny seems a normal thing
my sanity's slipping hanging on a string
voices give orders body follows commands
funny seems a normal thing blood on my hands


I relinquished control slipped into a dream
where I filtered the sounds to a silent scream
each life I t00k for them did blacken my soul
slipped into a dream I relinquished control

Became a voice when I died symbiotic
believe a heart attack now that's ironic
had one fucked up life and a hell of a ride
symbiotic became a voice when I died


Copyright © 2017 by Patrick B Vince

07 November 2016

my Love

With eyes closed I experience his touch
strong hands manipulating my flesh
silicone skin bends to his whim
arousing a demon from within
grasping it's head he yanks it's chain
making me scream in ecstasy
with pillow over my head
he takes me to wonderland
I submit my love to him again and again
Copyright © 2016 Patrick B Vince