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04 December 2018

alone but not lonely

alone but not lonely


I always have the voices in my head



whispering sweet nothings 



at times nothing sweet



but they are a constant 



and constantly with me



I can ignore them



or chose to converse



all the time without mumbling a word



people may see me as lonely



no  parties



no  guest


me and my dogs


and the voices in my head

03 December 2018

chalk it up to a bad day

 had a hard ass day
been one of those wet cold ones
where the air permeates to the skin
seizing every joint and muscle
my body language was loud and clear
not a day to fuck with me
my hip refused to cooperate
ol' shoulder injury acted up
to top it off spilled my fucken coffee
I went beyond asshole straight to dink
now interrupted during my dinner
I'm Coming I yell
struggling to stand up
I shuffle to the door
peaked through the hole
almost felt sorry
the chap looked young
I opened the door
slit his throat before he could say hello
I closed the door
dinner was waiting

24 November 2018

while I was resting

they crawled into my head while I was resting 
voices repeating over and over 
like a fucking sing along
I couldn't escape their grasp
Anger swelled
I couldn't speak
could hardly breath
I felt nothing but the rage
Slicing away the dirt of my existence
I saw black where red should be
the puddle at my feet was food for the flies
I no longer saw a future
my past a lost memory
while dying I screamed a silent scream
nobody will miss me

life in a nutshell

living 
feeling invincible
out of control
unstable
drowning in emotion
each breath labored
chest black and blue
freezing cold
covered in sweat
burning up inside
constant conflict
hot days cold nights
welcome to my bipolar life
said the spider to the fly
be my guest be my guest
you look delicious


Copyright © 2018PBVince

used


he regarded me as a fly on the wall
an insignificant
a nothing at all

he looked right through me as if I wasn't there
a fucked up inconvenience
pretending that he cared

day came he didn't need me
kicked me out the door
said it was all make believe
left my heart dead on the floor

I was enraged by the words
I took you for a ride
broken by the truth I heard
I beat him till he died


08 September 2018

one night

while chewing on razor blades I wondered
how to spend the evening
I was having hot flashes and seeing red
The moon confirmed, I was in heat
I wanted to tear up some ass
make someone scream
the October winds were howling but I didn't care
in sweat pants and hoodie I went where few dared
A local place
where us men like to flaunt what it is we have
and
what it is we want

In the moon's light I saw him
a bit young for my taste
clock was ticking I didn't have time to waste
We danced the dance
a mating ritual
when he exposed his ass
I went in for the kill
not but spit lubricated his hole
I plunged in deep before he could say no

passion
desire
who the fuck cared

he tightened up on me and I shot right there
I Pumped my heat into him while breaking his neck
the convulsions were epic it drained my dick
that is one night Id like to relive
and one night I'll never forget


04 July 2018

who am I ?!


who am I
I'm angry
fucken pissed off
don't mock me with how wonderful life is
I carry with me all my belongings
hoping each night Death will come for me
knowing that a shower is a fantasy
while I bath fully dressed in a local pond
My teeth are but stubs of a smile I used to have
I feed from a restaurants trash heap
this is what I always imaged retirement to be
the golden years
I thought I had it rough growing up
it toughened me for this hell I'm living
so when they ask me who I am
I tell them
I'm Angry



Copyright © 2018 Patrick B Vince

I'll use that

alcohol


wine by the bottle

a cigarette


some magic tobacco


the monkey on my back


the dragons tail I chased


an ass to pass around


naked bodies 


a kiss


a slap


some pain


some blood to go with that


a little bit at a time 


never in moderation


it took the person I used to be


split into fractures, my personality 


who am I


what drug was ingested


air I can't breath


clean?


what's clean


I'm poison


addiction


Copyright © 2018 Patrick B Vince

burnt out, done

he said he loved me as he searched on his phone for a trick to play with

me sitting on the side wanting him

The anger swelled as I waited for the affection he gave strangers


He asked me to change I asked for some attention


while I gave in 
he fucked around behind my back

I couldn't take having  my heart ripped out on a daily basis

then returned stepped on, tarnished


My happiness didn't matter


got tired of fighting a fight I wouldn't win


I grew some balls, hardened my heart 

and before I left I tore him apart

Copyright © 2018 Patrick B Vince

02 March 2018

reaching the end

hitting my breaking point
 
ready to quit

 
you're no friend if you treat me like this

 
I'm not a threat 

 
I'm not a sneak


I'm the one you fuck with when tired and week 

 
I gave my all over 

 
one hundred percent


in return I'm treated like shit 

 
I fight with my body 

 
I fight with my health 

 
We shouldn't be fighting that much I know 

 
hitting my breaking point


ready to quit


you're no friend if you treat me like this


Copyright © 2017 Patrick B Vince