thoughts
are beyond dark
leaving
me in a waist land of raw sewage
my
nerves inflamed
spewing
a bounty of vulgarity
poisoning
my mind
leaving
a permanent indent in my mouth
I
desperately tried to cut it out
remove
the nasty from my veins
let
the blood show it's true color
turning
black as it dries at my feet
I
peeled back layer after layer
searching
for the innocence
the
sunshine bullshit
there
it goes again
heated
and boiling
removed
another pound of flesh
my
being has been tarnished
the
out and inside
all
the way to the core
possessed
by an ugly
making
my smile seem devious
blue
eyes a gray storm
ready
to strike at whatever may be
letting
forth a run of verbal vile diarrhea
what
the fuck is wrong with me
is
the medication not working
is
this who I really am
it's
not who I want to be
tipping
my head back
I
finish off the bottle of lithium
since
I'm self diagnosing
I
wiped out the bottle of Ambilify too
I got nauseous
was dizzy
the room spun
I became disorientated
I felt it as it happened
I laid down and held my chest
then closed my eyes
I was ready for death
Copyright
© 2015 Patrick B Vince
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