15 August 2015

I'm Sick of the Rage

thoughts are beyond dark
leaving me in a waist land of raw sewage
my nerves inflamed
spewing a bounty of vulgarity
poisoning my mind
leaving a permanent indent in my mouth

I desperately tried to cut it out
remove the nasty from my veins
let the blood show it's true color
turning black as it dries at my feet
I peeled back layer after layer
searching for the innocence
the sunshine bullshit

there it goes again
heated and boiling
removed another pound of flesh
my being has been tarnished
the out and inside
all the way to the core
possessed by an ugly
making my smile seem devious
blue eyes a gray storm
ready to strike at whatever may be
letting forth a run of verbal vile diarrhea

what the fuck is wrong with me
is the medication not working
is this who I really am
it's not who I want to be
tipping my head back
I finish off the bottle of lithium
since I'm self diagnosing
I wiped out the bottle of Ambilify too

I got nauseous
was dizzy
the room spun
I became disorientated
I felt it as it happened
I laid down and held my chest
then closed my eyes
I was ready for death

Copyright © 2015 Patrick B Vince

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