Sometimes a memory

Running with scissors in an electrical storm 

I jump into rainbow colored puddles 

Screamed like a banshee 

to a god that no longer recognized me 

I am but a shadow

A used to be 

as lightning strikes and thunder roars

The rain washes over me

water colored eyes and a broken reality

A world without clarity

I take the path of resistance 

picking up the footsteps I left behind

 Love isn't just two bodies contorted in positions unimaginable 

Sometimes it's sitting contently with each other in silence

Death becomes me

Sleeping with my eyes wide open 

Colder than a corpse in a shallow grave 

The dreams I can't remember 

But these scars they leave 

Broken bones and bruises 

Blackened eyes and busted teeth 

How many times did I let loose a deafening scream

Nobody hears 

Nobody sees 

I'm alone in a fucked up reality

Crawling my way out of my skin 

Desperate to breathe again 

Choking on tears of misery

A creation by my own hands 

I wrap the noose around my neck 

And swan dive into Tomorrowland

Don't judge me 

You don't know my pain 

How I'm broken inside 

How I keep the voices at Bay 

How hard it is not to kill you ⁸

aBnormal

 I don't mind being abnormal 

I don't like being like you 

One of the masses 

I'm a fucking individual 

I hold my head high 

Follow imaginary butterflies 

The voices tell me to March on 

I'm different and I'm okay 

How do you enjoy blending in 

No original thoughts or ideas 

Everything you do has already been 

I won't be walking in anyone's footsteps 

It's queer you know 

Being an original 

People gowk speak in hush tones 

Whispering about my differences 

I feel good in my skin 

I see rainstorms and rainbows 

I talk to the dead 

I'm okay with not being right in the head

In my head

Want to see what's hidden in my head? 

It's filled with the suffering tortured and dead 

Synapses firing going insane 

Fight or flight or confused again 

Being not right, I like the screams 

It's sort of like music if you know what I mean 

There's a lot of sticky red stuff flowing from a vein 

And everything is covered in a dark bloody stain 

The smell is atrocious and makes the eyes water 

There's nothing like the aftermath of manslaughter

Insomnia again

Fuck

This sucks

I can't get to sleep 

The hours are ticking away

I'm coming up on the third day 

I've started to see things 

My mind is playing tricks on me 

The white noise has articulated 

I hear every word crystal clear 

I sit in the dark naked hiding a truth 

Yet I show no ill will 

Just a diabolical grin on my face 

Let me kiss you with my teeth 

I'm active when I all I need is sleep 

Another sunrise before my eyes 

Bloodshot like streaks of red in the sky 

I get out of bed body screams mutiny 

I get back in and wait for exhaustion

Fuck

This sucks  

The past?

The past will haunt you 

Nope, not me 

I'm lucky to remember yesterday 

I try hard enough to live in today 

I don't have the luxury of a memory 

Or at least it needs an upgrade 

I know what I know 

But can't think of a goddamn thing 

Like my grandkids names 

Or where I left my keys 

I have 21 pairs of glasses 

And an extra set of teeth 

So whatever the past holds 

It's a secret to me

Who am I

Who am I to write these words 

I wonder how you picture me in your head 

Hopefully something normal and not absurd 

After all the things you've read 

I am someone that you recognize 

But never know my name 

I'm not someone thinking things 

That would make you go insane 

My wires are strung too tight 

Dresses sharp you know the type 

Always has a smile on my face 

Creepy as hell but right in place 

Deep down inside past my harsh facade 

I'm a big old teddy bear 

Befriending me earns you applause 

Because from me you've nothing to fear 

I am bias 

As I am him 

Someone that's average 

Someone that blends in

My friend

 Let me tell you about my friend the boogeyman 

He lives in the shadows and travels across the lands 

He's known to be the creature that goes bump in the night 

Has something I'm sure to do with his large knife 

He stays in the darkness away from the light 

Waiting for the perfect time to take a life 

His eyes go red 

Smells like the undead 

And has an evil grin that'll take your breath away 

Tonight he's come to play 

So say hello to the boogeyman

Insight

 I'm trapped in my own mind

Playing chess with the voices in my head

And I'm loosing

No better then the rest

Haters 

You know the ones 

Always judging books by the cover

Belittling their sister's and brothers 

To reach some kind of higher status 

Guess what? It doesn't exist 

It's something created from fantasy 

Some sick twisted fucker thought it'd be great 

To put the rest of us down in a glance 

Keep thinking those pretty thoughts 

In the end, they'll bite you in the ass

Friend?

So you call me a friend 

Would you be so forward if you knew the things I did 

Would you still have my back 

Even though I went on a murderous attack 

Would you stand up for me 

When every being in your body says I'm guilty 

You see the positive 

You're optimistic 

The brighter side 

It hurts me now to see you die

Dementia on set

Do you know my name 

Have you seen me about 

Can you give me a clue 

My mind's in a fog 

Where was I going 

What have I done 

I have no past 

Here in the present 

I see no future 

But wait 

What was I saying 

Hello 

Do you know my name

Oops I didn't miss

 Busted lip and blackened eyes 

I am done with all your lies 

Taken back by all your shit

Blackened eyes and busted lip 

Drunk off my ass high as shit

I think of all the things you did 

Twisting the facts about your past 

High as shit drunk off my ass 

Don't remember a thing blacked out

You left my mind full of doubt

Now it's just a wondering

Blacked out don't remember a thing 

I'm Done

What the fuck

Always a fight with you 

Never content 

Never happy 

Don't you get tired of carrying that baggage? 

Tired of the world on your shoulders 

You put yourself in the line of fire 

Made yourself the victim 

You cry a thousand tears yet spill not a one 

Your words are meaningless spoken with a dead heart 

You touch cold like the winter's breath 

And I'm done 

Raise your hand

Why do I cringe when you raise your hand 

What's going on in my little head

What makes me run to my la la land

Could it be something you did

It doesn't matter

The bruises

The scars

They're not yours to carry

They fuel the fire inside

My strive to survive  

and one day

While you are comfortable sleeping in bed

I'll come in kiss you good bye then bash in your head

So go ahead

Raise your hand     

Man a pause

there is this tension building up inside me

filled with chaotic energy

with zero ability to concentrate

I'm beside myself talking gibberish

what the hell is wrong with me

my skin doesnt feel like it's on right

I check my reflection and stare in awe

I don't recognize that guy

I poked at my face waiting for something

hoping it was a mask that needed pulled off

for that I would need a sharp knife

yes yes screamed the voices in my head

if they were excited this had to be bad

I collected my thoguhts though deranged

cleaned up made everything look okay

but there was still that tansion inside

bubbling up like last nights pasta sauce

burning my esophagus making it hard to talk

then as if the clouds opened up and let the sunshine in

the tension dissapeared and I was covered in calm

damn I hate menapause

                                         copyright🅒2025 patrickbvince

waiting

 how long after a broken heart does the body die

when do I fill in the well after it's run dry

no more tears I cry

screams have gone silent

no more desires

wants and needs have left me

yet I exist

taking up space

no blood pumps in these veins

no heartbeat to be heard

just a corpse that's breathing

so how long before the body dies adter the heat's broken inside

copyright 2025

too dame poor

 

I try to be frugal

I don’t spend beyond means

hard as I try I can’t get ahead

every month I end up in the red

stealing from this to pay that instead

I have nothing fancy

Hell, have barely a thing

needs and wants walk a very fine line

difficult choices all of the time

for me to survive I turn to crime

taking just what I need

like food and toiletries

my survival depends on stealing

you can’t imagine the feeling

this sort of life isn’t appealing

my Bills are overdue

nor penny to my name

I get frustrated with finances

pay what i can taking my chances

who cares about my circumstances

struggling every day

once a month I get paid

do what I can with a little luck

takes forever to save a few bucks

happens all the time It fucken sucks