another
night without sleep
another
morning I greet with trepidation
I
can feel the shades closing in
they're
just outside of my peripheral vision
it's
not my soul they want
mines
already charcoal
but
the body
the
mind
brain
for
me it's a constant fight
stay
awake, go to sleep
I
feel like a zombie
coffee
pushed through an IV
what
can I say
I'm
afraid to go to sleep at night
that
somehow I might miss something
in
the meantime my body hates me
my
eyes distort what I see
apatite
escapes me
muscles
atrophy
I
feel icky
more
like a nervous wreck
wound
up a bit too tight
quick
to bite off a head
then
be real nice
a thought perplexes
did
you take your meds
was
that today, yesterday, tonight, now
dammit, I did it again
I
took them at one point but I couldn't say when
as
I start hating the feeling of my skin
give
me a razor to rip it off
I'm
pretty safe if I don't move from this spot
but
nature calls
while
in disposed
I
check the mirror to remember who I am
my
memory is shoddy at best
I
can't remember when the last day began
but
I remembered how to courtship Death
seems
the two of us are friends
several
times I shook his hand
guaranteed
he'd be there in the end
what
more can one ask for
some
physical company
the
feel of a body
a
touch
a
slap
the
back of a hand
the
twist of rope
a
drag of smoke
some
flogging
my
insides are creaming
I'm
on the edge of screaming
and
pulling out my hair
I'm
awake and dreaming
I
think I'm going crazy
at
least it feels that way
desperately
need sleep
too
late for that
I
see dawn caressing the eastern horizon
her
smile illuminates
each
passing moment getting brighter
good
thing light keeps the shades at bay
funny
how all this worked out
me
greeting the day as she wakes up
at some point I'll crash
when, I haven't a clue
but
I will there's no doubt
Copyright©2015
by Patrick B Vince
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